For many university students, romantic relationships are a defining part of young adulthood, but when partners begin to take priority over deadlines, the impact on academic motivation can be difficult to ignore.
UOW student Kealy O’Shea cracks open her textbook for the second last time and settles into another afternoon of study.
Just months ago, university was a second thought, devoting much of her time and energy into a long- term relationship, but since the relationship ended, her priorities have shifted.
The end of her long-term relationship is still hard to think about. Having a boyfriend seemed like a good idea, a chance to explore love and discover more about herself.
What began as a meaningful part of her life, gradually took over her goals, leaving little room for the focus she once gave to study.
For Kealy, the end of the relationship marked a turning point. As she rebuilt her routine, she found herself focusing on her education, raising questions about the influence romantic relationships can have on students.
During Kealy’s two-year relationship there were good times as well as bad times.
“Being in a long-term relationship, I think it had its ups and downs of impact on my performance at uni,” Ms O’Shea said
Psychologist Dr Rachel Needle, said in a South University blog that there is science behind falling in love where specific chemical substances such as oxytocin, phenethylamine, and dopamine, play a role in human behaviours that are associated with love.
“Falling in love is associated with increased energy, narrowing of mental focus, sometimes sweaty palms, light-headedness, racing heart, and a lot of positive feelings,” Needle said.
Marriage and family therapist, Elizabeth Kane said in the same blog, that experiencing a break up can actually be beneficial in working out how we want to be treated in future relationships.
“Moving beyond the pain of a failed relationship requires a shift of focus back on one’s self and to their own unique ability to give and receive love,” Kane said.
Now apply that to studying for a university degree, like Kealy is doing.
Studies show that romantic relationships while studying can have effects on academic results through affecting the students mental health and overall well-being.
From a young age humans start to explore the idea of a romantic partner which can start as early as high school, continuing into university.
In a national survey of secondary student and sexual health a majority of both males and females answered ‘yes’ to having been in a relationship.
Mental health social worker Charmaine Guthre said seeking a partner is an innate human response, but it’s how one is treated within the relationship that counts.
“I think just generally humans get into relationships because it’s something that is a bit of a survival mechanism,” Mrs Guthre said.
“What does matter is whether the relationship helps the person move towards the person that they want to be.
“If that relationship encourages that person to follow their values, then that’s a benefit to them.”
A pilot study of medical students found that those in satisfying relationships reported better mental health and achieved higher grades than their single peers.
However the study also found that students involved in romantic relationships can struggle with time management, often dedicating less time to their studies and spending more time in relationship commitments.
Students who reported being distracted by romantic relationships tended to have lower predicted GPA scores. This indicates that a one unit increase in romantic distraction leads to an estimated 0.47 point decrease in GPA.
For O’Shea, the experience was mixed. There were moments when the relationship positively influenced her studies.
“There were times where I felt really supported and that then correlated to me doing slightly better at uni,” she said.
However, she admits those moments were often outweighed by the time and attention the relationship demanded.
“But the majority of the time, I did prioritise my partner over uni because it’s more fun to hang out with him than studying,” she added.
O’Shea’s experience reflects a challenge many university students face, as they attempt to balance romantic relationships with the demands of higher education.
For some students, the challenge extends beyond balancing their time. Feelings of attachment and emotional dependence can make it difficult to step away from a relationship, even when it begins to interfere with academic goals.
A research article about University Students Leaving Relationships (USLR) explores this idea, by using a likert scale rating of psychometric characteristics that have been divided into three dimensions, giving a ‘decision to leave rating’.
Mrs Guthre said breakups can often mimic the same feelings of grief, particularly in younger people.
“It’s more prevalent in my experience to young people, is that, especially if it’s been the first relationship, that a level of grief that can be experienced,” Mrs Guthre said.
“If there’s been significant distress within the breakup that grief can be prolonged.”
Kealy’s experience reflects broader research into romantic relationship dynamics, which found that people are often motivated to maintain relationships because they fulfil needs for connection, intimacy and emotional support.
For O’Shea, that investment often came before her academic commitments.
“If I’m gonna be honest, most of my free time, I was spending with him unless he was doing something like studying,” she said.
“Like if he was studying for his TAFE stuff, then I would be studying, but if he wasn’t then I wasn’t focussed on that at all.
“And I didn’t want to look like a bad girlfriend by prioritising studying over my boyfriend.”
Now, as she returns to her textbooks, her priorities look different. The relationship that once occupied much of her time and attention is no longer at the centre of her university life.
While she doesn’t regret the experience, it has changed the way she views the balance between personal relationships and academic goals.
Looking back, she recognises how easily study became an afterthought.
